Hi Steve,

I can empathize completely since I too am riding the online dating wave. (And I use that metaphor purposefully)

There’s learning potential here and it sounds like you’ve already made some insights. You can see and empathize with the desperation of others. You can feel your own. Could it perhaps be that this is the energy that you’re giving off to the universe? Even if through the internet, could it be that you’re unconsciously communicating a certain vibe and hence you’re not getting the results you want?

What if you took a break from it for a while? Found some solid footing to stand on as an individual. Reconnected with yourself. Found confidence in your work, hobbies, families, and friends and let go of the longing for a relationship. And then perhaps, someday, casually, you take another peak behind the relationship door. No major expectations. No lofty goals. No desperation. Just curiousity and openess. “Que sera, sera”.

I say this to you as an anonymous friend who is going through something similar and if I were to give myself any advice, it would be percisely that – let go of the longing, relinquish control and expectations, and look within for that peace, happiness, and even excitement that you experienced when you were dating. If you find it, it will be a lot more lasting and not so depedent on external results.