Hi Dory,

Sorry to hear that how unhappy you feel. Not sure I have any perfect answers for you but I will share with you the advice I have.

Meditation is a great way to relax and can be focused on things like ’emptiness’ and ‘clarity’. If you are having trouble with your meditation try going to a meditation class where your meditation can be guided better. I’ve tried Kadampa Buddhism evening classes and they are really amazing, concentrating on finding solutions to exactly the kind of troubles you are experiencing. I don’t have the ability to meditate at home but at the class you are surrounded by like minded individuals, knowledgeable teachers and it’s the prefect environment to study and improve your meditation techniques so it really works. I’m not sure where you live but you might find a centre here:

http://kadampa.org/en/map/

As for music I love a certain type of chillout music and listen to it through earphones every day. It’s a style that helps me relax and open my mind, fuelling my internal rhythm and keeping me at peace in even the most mentally demanding environments.

If you feel like you are stuck with the troubles of the past, accept that the past wasn’t good, that you have learnt from that, and make positive steps to change your future. Don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone and try new things. Where would you like to go or what would you like to do?