Hi Vhanon,

Sorry for the late reply! Thanks for the reply though, certain parts do reach out to me. Well, my boyfriend’s sister only got married for about 6 months…out of necessity…and her husband is also someone that she doesn’t know for very long…it was really a case where she had no choice but to be married to him, so they went ahead with it. After this married, she also has other duties, but maybe it’s age, maybe it’s character, she just tosses them aside and run to my boyfriend. As you have said, these are the kinds of things I am unable to control, I can’t tell her that her behaviour is not right, and even if I do, it is up to her if she wants to reflect on herself and change.

In terms of what she is saying about me, it’s honestly just bad name calling. It’s just being exceptionally crude and rude n the words she uses, in a very uneducated manner. I do not think it is particularly aimed at anything about me, but just at me in general.

I have been struggling with taking a backseat, and like you said wait for him to perhaps come on his own, and maybe thinking that hanging out with me could be fun as well, but I guess because I feel like I always need to be in control of a situation, so I also need to control his actions, and when it’s something he’s doing that is not what I want him to do, then I get irritated.

I fully acknowledge that I do have a part to play in the breakdown of communication as well, I am also reflecting on myself and I acknowledge that I need to change, therefore I hope to gain some insight on how to make the change easier to accept by coming on this forum and listening to what people have to say.

I really appreciate the thing about the wall, and it’s true, that for this week, what I saw has been affecting me and stressing me so much that I’ve been having disturbed sleep and waking up every few hours, but there are things I cannot change in people, I can only change my reaction to it, and of course strengthen my wall so that I am not so easily affected. Finally would be to share my feelings and just trust that my boyfriend knows what he is doing, and he will do what is necessary.