Hi . Thank you for your reply. Yes A lot of thoughts there all in one. It’s my first time on this site and I am amazed at what comfort getting peoples thoughts can bring to put things in perspective thank you.

Everything you say is correct. You are right, the fact I could not open up completely to my ex says enough that he wasn’t the one for me. I tried dating again but stopped as I know I need to work on myself. Joining support groups is a good idea and though I get thoughts of my ex and what could have been many a time I have moved to forgiveness and integrity cutting all contact to help myself move on. It also confirms I’m not on here to get support for my ex’s reaction. After all we hurt each other and he’s hurt was a blessing in accepting he has moved on and removed all hope I had.
I am focusing on my self esteem issues which stem from schooling and building up a career that works for me.
Thank you .