Holly,

When I read this, I got the impression that you are blaming yourself in part for the way you feel. I hope I am wrong. You should not feel bad about having negative emotions. You should trust your feelings. When we suffer because of another person’s actions, one of the hardest things to do is ask that person for help. It takes a certain courage to do this. But this is how I would proceed. I would tell him that you still suffer and ask for his help in understanding. Do this from a place of love and compassion for both him and for yourself. You deserve to feel completely included in his life and loved. My best to you both 🙂