Hi Todzilla,

Do you want to understand her pain?
Imagine you are driving on a country wide road on a warm summer night. All of a sudden a fox jumps out of nowhere. At the sight of your car’s light, she turns and she stops in fear for a second. You quickly turn your car and barely manage to avoid it. You are not very pleased by your own fright. A few miles later another fox jumps on the road. Unfortunately this time there is a tree at the side and the right side mirror of your car is crashed when you move too further to the right. You are not very pleased. A few miles later another fox jumps on the road. This time when you move too further to your right, the right tires go out of the road and you car is caught into the mud. No harm done, but your car gets quite dirty. You are not very pleased. Then you start thinking “This road is full of foxes, it is better I slow down”, and you start driving at a slower speed. And stress builds as you see you are getting late to the party.

The foxes are your thoughts and feelings that jumps of the road of the plans you and your wife agreed on and indirectly cause pain to your wife.

Maybe when you are about to express you feelings to you wife, you can make some premises. Tell her that you would like she listened to you, however, you do not want to change the plan you made, you will endure your feelings and just want to share it for a while. She simply needs to hold your hand as you both move forward.

• This reply was modified 10 years ago by Vhanon.