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Hi Peng …
Firstly, realise there are a bunch of us, just like you, on here trying to figure our own **** out.
It can be pretty complicated.
I know what it’s like to feel like you don’t have friends or people to turn to.
But it’s not the thing to concern yourself with right now.
Friends will come naturally, when we are happy with ourselves and have something to offer people.
If we’re depressed and complaining about our lives, most people will see that as a turn off.
Sucks, but it’s true. The sooner we accept that, the sooner we can concentrate on solutions.
Make a list of problems in your life.
Next, think of solutions.
If a problem is out of your control, i.e. the weather, then you have to accept it and let it be.
No point getting worked up over something we cannot change.
You can’t change your friend’s controlling nature. She’s got to do that herself.
If the psychologist isn’t helping, ditch them and get a new one. Using CBT will probably help though.
‘Feeling Good’ by David Burns is the best book on it.
Next up, you need something to aim for. A reason to go on. If not, what’s the point?
So, think about what you want. A holiday? A new car? An Xbox One? A new guitar? Whatever your ‘thing’ is, remember that life can be good and then pay attention to opportunities that may present themselves to you. Good things that will allow you to get what you want.
Sometimes, you need to shift your perspective. That can be hard. Of course, if we lost much of the things we took for granted (like a home and food) we’d feel pretty grateful to have them back. Imagine being homeless for a month. That first day back in your house would be such a relief. So, try to remember there are good things in your life and stop comparing your life to what you perceive in others.
And do something new if you need to. If you’re bogged down to a routine, and you’re fed up of your circumstances, you need to take more risks and put yourself out there.
I think Kyle (above) makes a good point about how you start your day.
I learnt this the hard way today.
Was up until 3am last night and had an appointment at a job agency this morning.
Rushing around, while feeling exhausted, was not a nice start to the day!
I even wrote this blog post: http://stefanalexlay.wordpress.com/2014/12/04/i-feel-defeated-again-im-always-losing-to-myself-anxiety-is-a-killer/
A lot of what I’ve written is for my own benefit too. I need to remember this stuff, because I’m pretty lost too.
Maybe we all are.
But we’ve got to keep doing our best.