Hi Erin,

Yes, of course it can.

However, it requires a few things to happen because often these behaviors are quite deep rooted.

First, it will need to person doing the ‘putting down’ to do some personal work outside of the relationship. They need to look inward and find out whats underneath the put downs, or in other words, discover the reason, trauma, thoughts and/or triggers that cause them to behave that way.

Second, it requires the other person receiving the put downs to explore why they continue to receive these, how it makes them feel, how they respond, why they respond this way and whats causing these responses.

Finally, it requires the couple to come together at some point and address what they’ve discovered, recognize how they’ve been communicating and commit to a new path forward together.

These three things are quite large and will require an investment of both unyielding commitment and time. There will be slip ups, backward steps and struggle. However, it can be done.

The first question to ask themselves is; do we both want to REALLY do this? Its a big question, and if the answer is no, then it may be time to step away.

Best of luck!

Matt.