Hi,
This is a communication issue. What drives you to both communicate this way is interesting.
I think being honest with yourself and others in a clear and courteous way might help here. Sounds like you both are tip toeing around what the real conversation should be.
And in answer to your post title – it’s both of you!
Good luck!
Matt.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 