Hi Bill,

Based on what you said, it sounds like you are going through a phase of reviewing all the choices you’ve made in life. Whilst that is natural, an over focus of the negative aspects of our lives can sabatage our relationship with others. I find this to be especially true when committment is required (because there is always a little voice on the back saying what if it didn’t work?) and no matter how much others praise you or what your achievements are, it can never drown out the constant voice of self doubt.

Sun Tzu once said that “The effective general is one who win first then enters into battle. The ineffective general goes into battle first and then seek to win”. Before you go into a mode of “doing” consider spending a bit of time to invest in how you percieve yourself and the world. Pratice gratitude (e.g. some people keep a diary on the things they are greatful about), be aware of your feelings (meditation helps), weed out self criticism (e.g. if you wouldn’t criticise a friend the way you criticise yourself, then you know it’s too much) and reframe negative thoughts that are not helpful (e.g. instead of focusing on being single, think of it as an opportunity to meet someone amazing). These things will help you to focus on the present rather than your past or your future.