Guys, i appreciate your support. Today i went to free government therapist and he said that my situation is very bad and i need to get on meds ASAP. I really hate this idea, but he might be right that i wont be able to crawl back from this condition by myself. And i despise those meds, they are the reason of what happened with me. I got off from them with great effort and awful side effects and this suddenly changed my personality. Right after i stopped taking them, i became negative, bitter, sad, insecure and boring person. Also, without those meds i started to have sex-related issues. My ex-gf noticed it and instead of helping me getting through this after-meds-phase, she started comparing me to my ex-friend who obviously was better than me at the moment in every possible way. Im pretty sure that if i did stay on the meds, nothing would have happened, because i would have been much more confident and positive person. Anyway, i really despise the meds and don’t want to get addiction from them once again. And my mother begs me to start taking them, because she can’t look anymore at my suffering. I don’t know what to do. Maybe i really need to fall into addiction once again. And still i don’t trust them and their positive effect is pretty doubtful, yet addiction is very real.