Hey,
First off I’d like to express the happiness it brings me to hear that you not only accept your boyfriends current obstacles but actually try to help make it better for him. That is a beautiful thing and is truly a reflection of the relationship you have with him.

With that said, you cannot help him fight his depression. You may be able to distract him for a short time or simply support his needs but you cannot change who he is. His depression and anxiety are a part of who he is and the only way to truly help is to love this part of him. He alone needs to be the one to face his problems and learn to love and accept that side of himself as well. If he doesn’t like that part of himself, how can you? I suffered from depression, social anxiety, and OCD my entire life and I can tell you, it is exhausting. It’s a constant inner war that never seems to end but it’s essential to know that he will only be able to control it when he begins to consciously deal with it.

If he needs psychiatric help, support that. If he’s suicidal that MUST be addressed. Support whatever he believes will help as long as it’s healthy. He needs to find a way to face this head on. He has to be relentless in his desire to control his depression and anxiety. It’s one of the hardest things I learned how to do but now I love that part of myself. I’ve learned to use it and change it into a positive thing and I know he will to. It’s just a matter of when he’s ready to face himself.

I’m able to transform my anxiety into positive energy by understanding what my anxiety will do if I give in to it. I know who I want to be. Anxiety is fueled by fear and fear only occurs in our thoughts of the future. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the body and needs to be handled differently. I can’t transform my depression because of that and instead use it to discipline myself. I refuse to give in to my desires to stay in bed all day, or torment myself by thinking negatively about the future or past experiences. Depression is a vast, empty void of self loathing and if you fall in, it’s hard to get out. He needs to know that it’s a choice. The easy way and the right way. Find activities to do to get him out of his head and into the present moment. Talk to him calmly and let him get out anything that’s bothering him. Research methods to help, drink tea, stretch, do yoga together. Never stop fighting it and never be okay with accepting depression or anxiety. You both deserve happiness but it takes work.

thepathofaronin.blogspot.com is my personal blog. Take a look and message me if there’s anything I can help with.

Good luck to you both.