Hey Luis,
You said, ‘The thing with my darkness is that it seems that i have to put myself down as much as possible.’ and you need to understand that in order for negativity to spread deeper into our lives and strengthen, we must give it the power to do so. Putting yourself down is fuel for negativity and it thrives when you lose hope. Realize the reality of that. Your thoughts are what make up your reality.

Also, what we put out into the world is what we get back in return. If you want something you’ve never had before, you have to do something you’ve never done before. “Going into the unknown is how you expand what is known.” You’re young and have the opportunity to expand your knowledge in any direction you wish, why allow yourself to keep choosing a path that has serves no positive purpose? “Even death is not to be feared from the one who chooses to live wisely.”

Understand where you are and accept your place in this moment. “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” Fight your negativity with positivity. If you hate your job, focus on the reasons worth doing it. If you don’t like yourself, focus on the reasons you better yourself. There is light everywhere but sometimes we are in the dark for so long that we forget what light looks like. Find your light and shine it in every direction, my friend.

Good luck and stay positive!

thepathofaronin.blogspot.com is my personal blog. If this helped, check it out and maybe it will serve you.