Hello,

My heart goes out to you because I can tell this has taken a toll on you. To answer your question, of course you deserve to forgive yourself. You deserve happiness and love just as much as every person on this planet. Sometimes, we have to go through experiences like this in order to learn from them. Regardless, you can choose to see this experience as an opportunity to be a better partner and individual and by doing so, will gain so much more than you can now understand.

My advice would be to truly understand how you could have handled the situation differently. Accept your share of responsibility and apologize for what you feel you did wrong. Be as honest with them as you have been with yourself and take steps to moving on with your life. This experience shouldn’t loom over your head for the rest of your life and by taking immediate steps to fix the problem, you’ll be doing just that.

Beating yourself up and making yourself feel even worse isn’t helping anyone so it’s time to change your approach to the situation. Take responsibility, apologize, and let it go. You are not defined by your past and you’re not going to benefit from making yourself feel bad. This is your opportunity to become the person you want to be rather than the person you used to be.

I hope this helps you and I sincerely wish you the best of luck.

thepathofaronin.blogspot.com is my personal blog. Use it if you ever need advice.