Hi Maggie, thanks for reading and answering!

We are both 29.
It was actually just that one sentence that pushed me so much over the edge. I asked him what would have happened if she hadnt been reacting so distanced. He said that he would have woken up out of his stupor after 20 minutes thinking “oh no, how can I get rid of her again?” I do believe him, because when we just got together she actually contacted him and he rejected her. Maybe it was that after all this time he felt sure with us and thought he could be friends with her on a normal level.

I don’t think there is or has been any other woman. He used to have a lot of female friends, but he had a really bad childhood and takes a long time trusting someone, so I’m pretty sure he would not just fling around with anyone. But yes, it is extremely hurtful to know that this emotional texting has been going on, and yes, after this his love does not feel pure anymore. But how would I feel or react if my teenage love would turn up again? Couldn’t it happen to everyone and put them in a spot where they have to decide?

I have been trying very hard to give him his room, and it works very well, and he moves toward me. However, I felt the last days that I can’t play any more games, and that I want to admit my feelings and not pretend. I still give him room, but I don’t pretend everything is alright, and when I feel really bad, I tell him.

He tells me not to worry. But even when we talk on the phone at night, and he tells me that he loves me and misses me (and I know its true, he does not say these things whenever), I still wake up, and feel like I cant move, I’m completely numb and cry the whole way to work. Even though I have lots of friends, supportive family and a really good life with lots of hobbies for myself going on!

I don’t want to decide against him, because I actually believe him, and I think most of it is me feeling insecure.