How old are each of you?
For some reason I am hoping maybe it is a maturity thing with him.
Did you ask him about the FB thing?

Reading the words he said to her about wanting to know more and endlessly attracted would take me over the edge.
That is emotional attraction and women do not like their men to feel emotional attraction to other women.

I feel for you.

I doubt I could ever feel trust again with him.

From what you said about his mom, this sounds like a co-dependent relationship and you are the one walking on eggshells trying not to make waves. I did this for 29 years and I can tell you, it “ain’t fun”.

I would do lots of contemplating (thinking) (meditation) about this. I think you are being hurt too much.

You mentioned his “pure love” but it isn’t so pure if he is emotionally texting other women.

You cannot change how you feel and what you want. You will only sacrifice yourself if you try to.

Try to relax and see this as a relationship that might not be the best for you.

Pull away and give him this distance he seems to desperately desire. Giving him this “room” to breathe will help him to see you in a different light.

Allow him to make the moves toward you. Be the feminine creature men adore. Be his Damsel in distress…. if you know what I mean.
By giving him the space to move toward you, you are taking that part where he feels smothered and says he needs distance away.

You may not can do this forever but at least this will get the relationship back in your favor and then you can decide from a more objective place.

I am seeing things from a different perspective. I too, am 29 years old/female. And have been through too much as a teen and early adulthood to try ignoring these messages. I know you trust you lover and believe him. I understand you thinking it is YOU that is having a hard time. May I ask what the circumstances were that led to him to “visit” an old friend? Why were you not invited? Why did you have to find out about it through his fb messages? I am trying to rule out WHY you feel this way possibly justify HIS behavior and YOURS. There are some reason and justification to feel unsettled about this but I just want to know the situation with the other girl.. possibly try to figure out what his INTENT was.
Please hear me. I have struggled with crippling anxiety for about 8-9 years now. I am GREAT at offering advice and feedback. However, I do not always receive the feedback well. Once I find out the answers to what you wrote… I think I will be able to give you some more feedback. Honestly, I hope its you and your head that is to blame… However, there are reasons for your head to WARN you and keep you ready for pain when needed. We just need to figure out if your brain is giving you false alarms or not. 🙂 Also, maybe you have questions that need to be asked so you can rid yourself of the thoughts once and for all. I am so sorry that you had a tough experience while a child. There is a way out. I PROMISE YOU. You are not alone. You are beautiful. You are perfect. ANd, the really wonderful thing is that you are reaching out for help and advice. That makes YOU quite a few steps closer to a solution than most! Hang in there… Much love.

If neither of you want to give up, keep fighting for each other. You deserve to be happy and fulfilled! However, due to childhood things that happened to you it is harder to mentally and emotionally digest this kind of challenge. But, if you BOTH love one another then you will do whatever it takes to work through this. I learned that I had PTSD quite a long time ago and I began seeing a counselor. I learned so much about myself and about other people. The best things I took from counseling was the confidence I gained through working through EACH and EVERY situation that I could recall that caused me pain, discomfort, and mistrust. These dissections have taken years to think on, work on, analyse, and gain understanding. Your FEAR is normal. But, your response to anything that reminds you in the slightest way of the traumatic incident will trigger you to panic!!! Even if the initial emails you found or however you found out about it was the worst part. Your 1st reaction is PANIC and when you try revisiting the topic it gives you the same panic causing you to lose the REALITY of the situation again. So, then you need reassurance, reminders, comfort, and security about the issue ALL over again. Please know that these feelings you are having ARE normal to a degree. But, more importantly there is a way to get yourself back to “normal” again. It really depends on what you want to do about it. You could talk to a friend who is UNbiased about the situation, you could seek counseling, you could try doing team building things together like hiking, going on a walk in an unfamiliar place and rely on each other just the two of you while on an adventure(one person carries the water the other person carries the food, one person uses a map the other watches for wild animals! You really can work things out, I know it. Get yourselves out of your comfort zones together! Go build on your beautiful life together! If these things are still difficult because he is passed the point of TRYING then I wouldn’t say you need a break but that you should look into working solely on yourself. We are capable of overcoming these obstacles. It could take a few days, months, years.. One thing I KNOW is that YOU ARE WORTH IT. You are worth the time, effort, and love. And, it all begins inside YOU. “There is light at the end of the tunnel”.. even if you cant see it now… AND, “The grass is greener where you water it” <3

AGh! You almost made me start crying. But, I DID get chills and goose bumps all over my body from this message! Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to share my own experiences with you. It makes me feel so good to know that what I have experienced is not just ME on my own. Thank you so much for your responses and feedback to me. 🙂 Now Im getting teary eyed. A good teary eyed though 🙂