I am seeing things from a different perspective. I too, am 29 years old/female. And have been through too much as a teen and early adulthood to try ignoring these messages. I know you trust you lover and believe him. I understand you thinking it is YOU that is having a hard time. May I ask what the circumstances were that led to him to “visit” an old friend? Why were you not invited? Why did you have to find out about it through his fb messages? I am trying to rule out WHY you feel this way possibly justify HIS behavior and YOURS. There are some reason and justification to feel unsettled about this but I just want to know the situation with the other girl.. possibly try to figure out what his INTENT was.
Please hear me. I have struggled with crippling anxiety for about 8-9 years now. I am GREAT at offering advice and feedback. However, I do not always receive the feedback well. Once I find out the answers to what you wrote… I think I will be able to give you some more feedback. Honestly, I hope its you and your head that is to blame… However, there are reasons for your head to WARN you and keep you ready for pain when needed. We just need to figure out if your brain is giving you false alarms or not. 🙂 Also, maybe you have questions that need to be asked so you can rid yourself of the thoughts once and for all. I am so sorry that you had a tough experience while a child. There is a way out. I PROMISE YOU. You are not alone. You are beautiful. You are perfect. ANd, the really wonderful thing is that you are reaching out for help and advice. That makes YOU quite a few steps closer to a solution than most! Hang in there… Much love.