Thank you both for your replies. They were both really helpful and contained some lessons that I had worked out earlier in my life but forgotten about. To stop being self-pitying, to put the past where it belongs, and to actually live my life. I am kind of obsessed with getting everything “right,” and getting it right fast. I’m still not sure what believing in myself is supposed to look like, but maybe that’s not as important as picking myself up, learning from the experience, and moving on.