I do have a history with meditation, and so it’s not unfamiliar to me. I have been dealing with some things in meditation….I try to stay until things feel more settled and calm. Think of the meditation as the end in and of itself. Everything else will follow. Although I have to admit, I was brought back to meditation by an article about a study that shows that meditation and yoga change the very structure of the brain, decreasing the amygdala and increasing the hippocampus, which are respectively increased and decreased by depression/anxiety (negativity). So my goal is literally to change my brain. One neuron at a time if I have to. It has the added bonus of smoothing things out and calming them down.

I like that you are owning the insight and spirituality, but trying to dispossess the negativity. The negativity is not in our best interest, and we can control how much it manifests. I mentioned yesterday, I was thinking about going back to work and how vulnerable I feel being on leave and then going back and how “they” probably hate me and think I should just eat worms (not really, but remember the song??). It started to get to me, but I was able to accept it and turn away if that makes sense. Part of it was also saying to myself…if that happened, it would not be so bad. Been there, done that. Can do it again, and way better this time.

Anyway, I am not an expert by any means, but it has my focus at the moment.

• This reply was modified 9 years, 11 months ago by Voice-of-Grace. Reason: spelling and clarity