Hi Steve

I’ve had similar thoughts to you about people that I called my friends, especially those that were there for me during tough times. You’d think that those people would be “true friends”, the ones that are there for you when things are tough, right? Sadly, I’ve learned that this is not necessarily so. Some people – and I used to BE one of these, I’m ashamed to say – are drawn to friendships and relationships where they need to “fix” the other person. This doesn’t come from a place of care for that person, but from their own codependent desire to be leaned on, and the feelings of validation they subsequently get.

Secondly, I would suggest you look carefully at your relationships. Do you spend more time pursuing those who consistently reject you, trying to win them over, than you do with people who seem pleased to hear from you, and happy to be in your company? When self-esteem is low, the temptation is to think poorly of people who like you, and idolise those who don’t.

Thidly, if all else fails, and you are continually rejected by everyone, then you may need to do some soul searching. Not that I’m saying you have either of these problems, but some people I know (and reject) are objectionable on the basis of poor personal hygiene, or expressing strong social or political views in a tactless way. I would look to the first two before concluding the second 🙂

Wishing you well!