Hi Rachel,

Kudos for recognising this unhealthy obessession and wanting to change it as it is never something that’s easy to admit to yourself. It sounds like your brain understands that no matter what this girl have, your partner still choose you over her but your heart is still reeling from the pain of the break up, which left you wondering who this person is, what qualities does she possess that attracted him in the first place and why he slept with her so soon after your break up. In some ways, she represents all the pain, doubts and insecurities you have experienced throughout the break up and even though things are going well now, you are still afraid of what might happen in the future due to those experiences.

If you are sounding out this girl’s interest level to your boyfriend by going through her profile, it means that there is a part of you that belive he might change his mind, given the right incentives. So it appears that the issue here is trust, both within your relationship and yourself. There are lots of article here that can assist with this but in the mean time, you might want to start off by deleting that girl from social media or if you are the type who is tempted to re-add people, just get rid of the thing all together. The more you feed the fear, the stronger it grows.