Honestly, you want to change the past but thats not going to happen – hence the fantasies but what if i told you that you are ever changing and dynamic – its the person you are working on right now that matters than the person you were- parts of old you are still there but thats the past now – now is your moment – look at the now and all the awesome you can have – the more your confidence comes, the more you accept what you can and cant change. This will pass with time – focus on the present now, enjoy life.