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Reply To: My 20 year old daughter

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#72209
Maggie Black
Participant

If you have any extra money, you might want to get her an apartment, pay the first month and tell her she is on her own.
I agree that this is a hard stance but in order for her to “look up” she is going to have to get all the way down first.

Not only is the enabling you are giving her hurting her, but it is going to affect your relationship and may be hard on your boyfriend who is sober.

However you don’t want to enable him either because there are all kinds of negative influences out there and he is going to have to learn how to deal with them anyway.

But if you value your relationship you are probably going to have to choose. That is sad I know.

You could try giving your daughter an ultimatum and a specific time for her to get her act together before you do the apartment thing.
Maybe she would change.

It is doubtful, but not impossible.

Most people don’t change until they hit rock bottom.

I wish you well.