I am going to make one last important point here which is that I only live by my own values and not the values of others. Therefore, I do not live by the values of others who tell me that I should and would be a great person for pursuing my composing dream anyway without my pleasure. I also do not live by the values of others who tell me that I should let go of my own values and open up to other ones. My own personal values are what now at least truly make me the better person despite my anhedonia and depression.

If it were somehow proven to me right now that I would never be able to recover my pleasure, then the only thing that would make me the better person would be for me to end my life. Therefore, I am the better person for giving up on my dreams and I am the better person for ending my life. Me accepting my loss of pleasure, moving on in life, and pursuing my composing dream anyway, this would make me and my life inferior and worthless since I would be living by the loathsome values of others and not my own hedonistic values.

Now as for anyone who would tell me that I would be selfish and such for ending my life in the event that my pleasure doesn’t recover, then you honestly expect me to live my life having no personal good life of my own to experience pleasure in? Furthermore, for you to expect that from me would mean that you have utterly demeaned my own personal value as a human being and my life for rejecting my desire to have a personal life of pleasure of my own. You would have rejected my own personal good value that I have which would be my right to have a life of full pleasure.