Risingwind,

I can’t share from my own experience and I am certainly no expert, but I can point in you in directions that will help. Here is a list of resources that you may find supportive for you at this time:

Rori Raye – http://www.HaveTheRelationshipYouWant.com (specifically, her Toxic Men program).
— If you’re interested in either turning around your relationship or discovering the courage to leave, she is good for both.
Katherine Woodward Thomas – Calling in “The One” 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life (book or program).
— This is technically for single people, but the exercises in the book are centered around the inner work that is necessary to make yourself available for love, which could lead you to transform your current relationship or provide you with the courage to leave.
Melody Beattie – Codependent No More
— I suggest this book because you mentioned a drug problem, albeit co-dependency is often present even outside of relationships with drug problems. It’s an enlightening book. Dense. But good.
George S. Pransky – The Relationship Handbook
— If you’re interested in transforming your relationship, this would be a good tool, too.

But – based on what you’ve shared, I first suggest you look into Rori Raye, as her work does focus specifically on how you can transform yourself and your relationship.

Choose whichever you resonate with most or use these recources as tools to discover others that you may resonate with more. Also, receiving 1:1 guidance is always supportive too, if you could find a spiritual or relationship counselor.

I hope that helps. Know that you are supported. I know it’s difficult reaching out for help, but you did it! That’s the first the step, which is always hardest. You’re on your way!

With love,
Paula