“I hope none of these posts can be found by her somehow she will kill me. Lol not really but she’ll be pissed.”

Lol, picture my face. I assure you I’m not laughing. If your spouse would bite your head off about an honest post about how you feel, something is very wrong in your relationship.

You posted your story in a thread about abuse in a relationship, starting your post by saying “I recognise the things you guys are talking about.” You know that we established two of the other posters are talking about abusive relationships, right? That you recognise the stuff they talk about should make you think about the nature of your relationship.

From what you’ve said, being with this woman has turned you from an outgoing, sexually active, working woman into a ‘homebody’ whose main task, if I may paraphrase, is managing the moods and jealousies of her wife. This woman seems to be controlling you in a way that’s keeping you from living your life. You look at your old friends on facebook and feel like life is passing you by. It is. Because you’re in a prison called your marriage.

If you’re not thinking of leaving her (and I’m surprised you’re not, but ok) then at least think about how you can let life back into your life, instead of dozing through it taking care of her and the cats. Have a talk with her about what you want, your hobbies, your friends, etc. And if the two of you can’t figure out a way in which you can have a normal out-of-doors life as well as her as a wife, then what does that say about the nature of your relationship?

I think you should seriously think about this.