Hey there,

I used to be like you, reading up on dating advice from so called gurus, watching how I behave, what I say and doing everything in my power to get someone to like me. The thing is, even when I managed to manipulate someone into liking me, it never lasts. Even while it did it wasn’t that great because I can’t be open with that person and there is always that fear that if I did the wrong thing, the whole relationship will collapse. So what I am trying to say is that going into a relationship pretending to be someone else is a fool’s game.

Have you ever wondered what is the purpose of our emotions? We get angry when we are confronted, scared when we do something risky and sad when we lost something we love. From a biological and evolutionary perspective, our emotions exist to get us to take action. So if you are depressed and cry often, perhaps your body is telling you to do something that will change your circumstances? If you are unwilling to take the steps to address these issues yourself, a relationship will only complicate matters. Most people get sick of being the saviour fairly quickly.

My suggestion is to look at the list you put together and commit to one change you can make today. Just one and when you have mastered it, try another. The most important thing is to do something, otherwise you will end up bring your own jailer.