Hey,

I know it must be very uncomfortable, but actually I would say in many ways you are very lucky. You are waking up! Most people are still sleep walking, if you don’t understand what I mean by this you probably will soon enough. It’s natural to react to such feelings as though they are bad and that something is wrong with you because this is what society has taught us to do, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. Emotions are there to tell you something and you’re making good progress from what I can see. Meditation is one of the best things you could be doing in my opinion right now. From my experience, life for you will become more meaningful and purposeful than you could have imagined if you continue what you’ve now started.

Don’t worry about being happy all the time. Unhappiness is OK, in fact the real trick is to just accept it (fully). Emotions only really cause us to suffer if we resist them, stop fighting it, become OK with unhappiness and you won’t suffer so much, you will literally be OK with it. This might sound difficult but again meditation helps for this. Being scared is also OK and natural because you are experiencing feelings that are new and uncomfortable.

You are at the start of a wonderful journey, it’s just that the first part of it is very bumpy – just persevere, that’s really all you need to do.

Hope that helps,

Ben.