Thank you both for your responses.
I appreciate it …

I think the problem for me is, this has been going on for a very long time.
I don’t feel like I can speak to my family about how I feel anymore – They’ve heard it a thousand times.

I just really want to move forward and make my life story something other than ‘I took a drug that ruined me and now I spend 85% of the time hoping I won’t wake up*.

I feel it’s harsh for those like myself – sensitive and creative, while being prone to depression – we need a break and time to fix ourselves but this World and our society is formed on capitalism and greed, and rushing around to do everything at once.

I just really crave a long break so I can figure things out and just have time to rest and heal.

I don’t know how to create more time…