Hello Friend,
Please don’t do anything rash. Bad time will not remain forever. Bad time will certainly be followed by good time. You just have to keep on finding alternative ways of getting out of your situation. You should keep on trying irrepective of your difficulties.

I think most of your problems are basically psychological in nature. But getting rid of this psychological block is the most difficult thing. Because I’ve also went through many psychological problems and I know how difficult it is to get out of it.

But you know there is a solution to get out of these problems. And name of that solution is “Vipassana” Insight meditation.
I tried this technique as a last resort for my problems. And now I can’t tell you enough how much I owe to this technique. I really don’t have words to express gratitude for Vipassana. If I could have got this technique much earlier, I might have saved six years of my life. But I’m still happy that atleast I was able to get vipassana instead of wandering aimlessly all my life trying to find out cure.

There is TEDx Talk on Vipassana
2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixu4Kd5R1DI

Following is a documentary on Vipassana:
1. Doing Time Doing Vipassana

Following is official website for Vipassana Course registration
http://www.dhamma.org/en-US/index

These Courses are available all over the world and are free of cost.
But only thing is that this meditation course is extremely tough.
It’s 10-day course in which you will be completely isolated from world and will do meditation for 12 hours a day.
But proper hardwork in this course really pays off.
It’s a technique to cleanse of all the impurities of your mind.
You will certainly see that you will have much better control over your emotions once you will sincerely practise this meditation in your daily life.

Following is a good blog on vipassana written by some Vipassana Meditators. You can get idea about personal experience of some meditators.
http://livingvipassana.com/

There is another website with lots of resources on vipassana
http://www.pariyatti.org/
In this website you can find many good free ebooks on Vipassana Meditation.

Before coming into contact with this meditation I also used to read lot of books on motivation and self-help. But effect of these books used to fade away with time. Because changing mental attitude requires much more than simply reading books and watching some video. We need some practical tool also along with theory to change our mind. And Vipassana is that practical tool that can certainly bring good changes in our psychological state.

I think you should take 10 day break from your current activities and give this technique a try. It can change your life and might be watershed event in your life.

Actually when I read problems of many people at tinybuddha website, I feel more and more that all these troubled souls require only vipassana. Medicines for psychological problems won’t do us any good and in the long run they produce only sideeffects on the body. Because modern science don’t understand the nature of mind and they try to treat problems of mind with their incomplete or partial knowledge. And we all know incomplete or half knowldge is far more dangerous when treating any disease.

I hope you will take wise decision and change course of your life.
If you want any more info regading vipassana then just search the web, you will get many reviews and plenty of information.
My Best Wishes to you and I know very soon you will come out of your present situation successfully and leave your troubled past behind.