Thanks for starting this thread, Marshmallow!

This hits home right now because I’m having a pretty rough day. A few hours ago, I was on the verge of a breakdown. Lots of old personal stuff suddenly came up and I was shocked by how firmly my mind kept saying “There’s something wrong with you. You don’t deserve any joy/love/whatever.” In minutes, it was like years of self compassion work was out the door. Luckily, I had some strategies to work through it.

#1 – I know what works for me. At first, I wasn’t hearing any of it today, but I knew it had worked in the past so I kept at it. Find what works for you, take note, use it and don’t give up. Sometimes it takes a while to break through the funk. Keep going.

#2 – I write out my negative feelings as they come. No analyzing, no judgement. I just get them out. It’s vile, hateful stuff, but it’s on paper, not bouncing around in my mind. I feel better because I’m facing the hate, not hiding from it. I rarely re-read it, I just get it out. Sometimes I analyze it, but the most important think for me is to just GET. IT. OUT.

#3 – I practice a Breathing & Awareness meditation. Sometimes, I’m too upset to feel anything other than hate toward myself. Those lovely Self-Compassion, Loving-Kindness meditations do not stick in those times. Instead, I need work to remind myself that “I exist.” I try to experience a neutral breath and neutral physical feelings (sitting on a floor, clothes on my body). I keep meditating until I’m calm enough to hear my heart again. After I’ve calmed down, I can start to explore the reasons for my distress.

#4 – I also check in with my body. Am I hungry? Tired? Cold? Seriously – those things can really affect your mood. Take care of your body so it stops messing with your mind.

#5 – I come here, actually. I find so much strength in knowing that I’m not alone when I have a difficult time experiencing the human condition. Just knowing that all of you beautiful, perfect, worthy-of-love people also experience pain makes me feel less helpless. It sucks, but it happens to all of us because we’re humans who live with humans. Your situations are different and your strategies to deal are different, but what matters is that you keep trying to experience life. It reminds me that although I can sometimes be a victim of circumstance, victim of a damaged childhood, victim of an unbalanced mind, victim of whatever…I am still a living thing who can also experience life. It helps me to lose the title “victim” and just accept that I’m human and this is how we are.

When I “come to” after getting caught up in negative thoughts and realize I can still go on, the feeling usually isn’t profound. It’s more like “Oh. Yeah. That’s right. Breathe in, breathe out. Neutral.” Maybe I haven’t fixed things forever, but I’m living here right now, and sometimes that’s enough.

Can’t wait to hear from more people!