Hi Orchidia,

They say that the best advice is usually the most toughest. So I won’t hold back and am hoping you get to read this and understand that my advice is coming from a place of love.

Before giving you my advice, i’m going to lay it out with some background theory so that it gives you some perspective of where my advice comes from.

Whenever I look at people who are struggling with their relationships, it doesn’t take long to figure out why by looking at their current lifestyle and how they’re treating themselves. I never used to quite agree with this before because I myself was in the same place and was living in denial.

I was badly dressed, was a hermit, ate junk food and didn’t have many friends or hobbies. It wasn’t until years later as my self-esteem started improving how badly I was treating myself. And yet there I was, expecting the best from life without having truly earned it.

In short, if you want to attract high value things and people in your life, you have to treat yourself as high value

It’s easy to accept yourself as you are and for self-help circles to suggest the same, but this is just the foundation of what you need before you can grow. You can’t just accept yourself and not do anything in order to improve. After all, life is about growth and improvement.

So if you’re currently overweight, depressed and lacking in self-esteem. Then my advice to you would be to hit the gym, start watching your diet and taking care of your mind and general health. I’m guessing you want the best quality mate you can find. But a person like that will have options. Be honest with yourself. Why would they want to be with you versus anyone else?

The sexual market place is cut throat and ruthless. And If you’re getting the results currently getting, then thats the sexual marketplace working as it should be. If you want the best, then expect to work hard and continue improving yourself.

Don’t fall for the classic fallacy that a person should accept you for who you are. It makes sense logically, but you have to firstly want to be a better person if it’s to be the case. You can’t convince yourself of your flaws being flawless and expect others to do the same. I hope this doesn’t upset you. It is a bitter pill to swallow. It was for me, but it soon changed my life for the better.

So my advice: No, don’t get into another relationship until you’ve worked on yourself.

Good Luck,

Onder