Dear thinker

A marriage advice without really knowing your marriage is a risky advice. I would not say to you what to do i only suggest to reconsider some of the things you shared with us. What follows is some questions that could help you (or not) with your relationship. Please don’t be stressed by the amount of questions. You don’t have to answer all of them. Maybe some of them matter to you, some other not. Please see this as a thinking tank, that only wishes to better your marriage. 🙂

You have tried everything to help the marriage? Maybe there some options you haven’t thought. For example ask yourself not only about the current situation of your romantic relationship but also the past situations.
Were you always like this and you simply can’t take it any longer? Or perhaps something occured during your marriage. Loss of a loved one, loss of communication, loss of sexual intimacy, financial obligations, stress from work, stress from children or relatives, loss of mutual interests, loss of common goals.

Have you considered going to a marriage counselor?
Can you afford it? Or maybe there is free support near your area that you have access to? What is your opinion about marriage counseling, would it help you and your husband overcome your difficulties? If not, how about seperate counseling? Would this help?

You love him very much.
What is it that you love about your husband. Is he sweet to you, loyal, caring. What is it that he loves about your self? Do you remind to yourselfs why you love each other often?

In the moments of tranquillity why are you happy and calm? In the moments of fighting why are you unhappy and sad?
What i want to say is, are there any kind of triggers before each stage of your peace/fight weeks? Hidden feelings, certain thoughts that arise just before the fight, or maybe a specific subject that you argue about?

You have your thoughts on this matter.
Where your efforts one sided most of the time? You may argue simultaneously, but did you ever sit together, each person speaking about his/her thoughts and feelings about the problems you are facing together? Do you know his opinion and what he suggests to do for your problems?

I really hope you overcome your problems. I really wish you are going to be happy again! As for happy marriages well i don’t know but happy all the time? Is this actually possible? I honestly don’t know…and don’t have any examples to share with you of 100% happy marriages. Maybe as human beings what we can achieve is mutual understanding and support to and from our partner in life.

All my best wishes for your marriage
George

• This reply was modified 9 years, 8 months ago by George.
• This reply was modified 9 years, 8 months ago by George.