I don’t think you’re holding yourself back from your recovery process. I think this is just a part of your recovery process. I’ve been on both ends of an emotionally abusive relationship and went through similar feelings, stuck on the fact that I was unfairly treated and didn’t realize until too late, or that I unintentionally hurt someone I loved and couldn’t take it back, couldn’t change what I did, no matter how much I thought about it and hated myself over it. I still get stuck on things, things much less important than that, but sometimes you just have to digest, especially if it just happened. You’re already going in the right direction, toward acceptance, away from letting the past control you, so I have no doubt that you’ll work through your blocks in due time. My thoughts for you on coming to terms are to realize that even if you got a better apology, it wouldn’t change what happened. Think about what this person could possibly say to validate how they treated you. Is there anything they could say, and if so, is there any chance they would actually say it? If the answer is no, then it’s no. When you catch yourself harping on it, just remind yourself of what you already know: that it happened, that it wasn’t your fault, that you will eventually accept it and it will pass.