Hi afxlaw, I really do feel for you, as I share your pain. I know the pain of being unplanned baby and not wanted and accepted by your own parents. I know the pain of being betrayed by your blood relatives. I know what is it like to live in an unjust world where parasites crush true people like you and don’t offer back the good they received from you. I don’t understand how karma works, but it does not seem to be a bank account where you deposit good and then receive it later. It does not work that way although it might appear obvious.
I know it sounds harsh to hear, but you need to find the strenght in yourself. From my life experience, every situation of disappointment has turned in time into opportunity. Opportunity to change your reaction to the situation, and therefore change your karma. You are the one that needs to teach others how to treat you, and this is done in a situation of disappointment. This is the moment that you say to those people – see, this is what you are doing, and you are not fair to me. I refuse to accept the role that you are assigning me in this life. Then the karma changes. Of course there is a cost to pay to this – you may lose your family forever, but as you said, better stay away from parasites. You may even lose material things. This is what is happening to me as well. But I’ve had it and I’d rather pay that price. I am actually very hurt and at the same time excited – as the last big betrayal is my way to Freedom.
This is the cost to pay to change your karma, not good deeds. This world is too cruel to think that Justice will come to rescue without our effort, simply being good to people and wishing they’d change. There is a karmic reason they are the way they are, and it is against the law of free will to want to make them into different people according to our desires.
We have the love in ourselves, and we have the power to restore the justice by refusing to be taken advantage, offended or disrespected, and accepting only what’s good for us. This is the act of Acceptance in karma.