Thank you both, just having someone acknowledge the awfulness of it all and someone who knows how alcoholism damages everyone one around it, not just the drinker really helps. I know I have to set boundaries to protect my own life but it’s hard to have the courage Io do that when outwardly not rushing to his side may seem cruel and uncaring and my self esteem is so low I don’t feel i have the right to say no. I’ve given it a lot of thought this evening, while I await an update from my step mother that never comes. I’ve decided that until someone calls me to say he is at deaths door I am not going to upset the balance at home. If things really have gotten as serious as I was led to believe at the weekend why have the hospital not asked for next of kin and my step mother reported no news every day? As hard as it is for me to say this I think they just want to know they have the power to pick me up and put me down when they feel like it. Why on earth you would play this game at a time like this Is beyond me. If I destroy the life I have here there is no guarantee I will have a relationship with them afterwards and it will all have been for nothing. It’s a harsh reality that just because they are your parents doesn’t mean they have your best interests at heart 🙁

I understand your anger George, it’s grossly unfair the way an addiction destroys relationships and lives for some, but like me, out of all of it you have managed to hold on to your compassion and kindness and even though you feel angry at times you are basically better and stronger person for your experiences. Thank you for taking the time to read my post I wish for all things calm and positive for you in the future, you deserve them 🙂 x