calebw,
cigarettes, alcohol, weed – these are all substances that help you NUMB your anxieties. However, they will not help you to get rid of them. Even more so, they will help you undermine your emotions and once you stop with it, your fears will come up even stronger. I know that it was easier to deal with those fears with those drugs, but they are not a solution.

I agree with MichelleZ. What is it that you want to do in your life? You were given the chance to create the life you always wanted to, so what is your vision? What brings you joy? What are you good in? What makes you happy? Are you happy with who you are? Do you believe you are worthy and deserve love and affection? If not, this is where your problem lies in. You don’t believe in yourself. This is the first thing you have to address.

Let me tell you one thing: No matter how bad you feel about yourself or no matter how much you believe you are a loser, a failure, a waste of time, you are not. You are good enough the way you are and you deserve to be loved and cared about. So start to take care of yourself. Only you can make a change. Only you can take responsibility over your life. When you go partying and numb yourself, it is your responsibility. When you have the job of your dreams, with the partner of your dreams, kids, whatever it is that fulfills you, it is your responsibility.

You are so young. It is amazing that you are so much aware of your situations. Be proud of yourself. You took the first step by sharing your thoughts with this community. Now, continue by taking steps into the direction you want your life to take.

Let me know if I can help you.

All the best!