Congrats on losing 10kg at the gym 🙂 Reading your post I can offer you some advice. The pain hurts, its real and soul crushing it seems. The solution is, take everything as it happened and accept it…in all its ugliness and nastiness. What he showed you was not love but a fleeting lust. His heart was never for you so do not hold onto the belief that him coming back into your life will make you happy again. You would be jealous, insecure and easily manipulated by this guy who trust me, isn’t a fool at how to play younger women for his own animalistic needs/wants and desires.

You are being governed by your emotions and your mind/ego. One should try their best to master these….there in lies the secret to a happy and prosperous life. You don’t need a man or anyone in your life to give it purpose,meaning or protection. All these things are within you and once you find that, no man shall ever put you in the darkness again.