Wow this was me in the fall. Over the summer I met a guy. He was totally different from any other guy I had been with before…I was totally comfortable around, he made me look in new ways…I loved being around him. It was like we were together for so much longer than we really were. He was a few years older and the night we said goodbye was so hard. We would be 5 hours away and busy with school and work but agreed to try and make it work. About 3 almost 4 weeks later my friend and I went to the town where he went to school to do this 5k and see him. We stayed at his house and right away I noticed how distant he was…there was nothing physical at all which was totally different from how it was over the summer. Not how you want that reunion to be at all. That Monday I texted him asking what was wrong and he said he had started talking with his ex again and that him and I would be better off as friends…I was devastated. It might have been coupled with the fact of being away at school for the first time but I started smoking weed, binge drinking, sleeping around…anything to mask how upset I was. I updated my phone and lost all my contact names but had numbers. I knew his by heart still but still sent him the text saying what happened, asking who’s number it was…no response. Cue even more devastation. Also in this time frame my best friend walked out with no explanation. So I had a lot going on. I remember one day going to bed, reflecting on the day and realizing I hadn’t thought of him all day. I eventually met a new guy (didn’t work out), stopped smoking, drinking all the time and sleeping around.

It sucks what happened. But you aren’t the first and the last person this will happen to. Take comfort in the fact that your aren’t the first person to go through this. There is no set time limit on how long it will take to get over him…you may not ever fully be over him. You’ll always remember the things he showed you, the doors he opened up for you, how he made you feel…allow yourself to feel his loss. But you were doing just fine before him. And although it nay not seem like it, you’re still doing fine. You’ve already made it so far. You’re taking care of health, which is good. Focus on yourself, making you the best you. Eat healthy, work out, try your best, focus on the good each day brings not the bad and the rest will follow. Life isn’t supposed to be a flat journey. What fun would that be? This guy made you feel highs you’ve never felt before…but he won’t be the last. When the time is right, it will happen. I found myself on Pinterest a lot, reading all kinds of quotes. One that stood out to me in that time was “There are people who can walk away from you…let them walk. I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you…Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over…”.

A few months ago on break I randomly stopped at Target at 830pm to see if they had a headband I wanted. Almost didn’t bother going. They didn’t have what I wanted but when I was checking out I saw him there. We said hi, he gave me his number and told me to text him, which I did. I almost didn’t because I didn’t want to go down that road again. We hung out twice, nothing happened. I felt like he still had feelings but who knows. He messaged me a happy birthday after I didn’t wish him one and I would feel comfortable messaging him over the summer to meet up. The universe has a funny way of making things happen. Just focus on the fact that things will happen at the exact moment they are supposed to. In the meantime, focus on you and only for you. It seems hard now but months from now you’ll look back on this and will be shocked at how far you’ve grown from the bad place you’re at now.