Dear bluelupines,

You have been sexually abused – psychological manipulation goes hand in hand with sexual abuse. You were groomed as a young person, made to believe this was something that you wanted and that you enjoyed. A family member who you trusted coerced you into inappriopriate and highly damaging behavior. Things will never go back to normal as far as your family goes, and you need to get away from the people that are causing you harm. Whether you want to categorize this as rape or not, you’ve been taken advantage of by an elder. You are clearly traumatized from these events, and you need to ask for help from trustworthy people around you. You may want to find out if it’s possible to report this to the authorities depending on your age. This is very serious and I hope you find a way to keep yourself safe and get help. If you have a good relationship with your parents you must tell them and try and get help from them. Help is not forgiveness and sweeping this under the rug. Help is acknowledging the damage that has been done to you and getting you to a safe place. Your uncle is also damaged and needs help. He is an abuser and has most likely been abused as many abusers have been. You need to get away from him and from anyone who tries to tell you what happened was okay.

I am not a psychologist but I have been the target of intended sexual abuse by someone in a position of authority and the best thing to do is get far away from them and then get help and healing from the trauma you’ve suffered.

Please be safe and recognize what is real help and what is not.