Hi Matt,

The only bad thing that I think you are doing is caring too much what other people say, including spiritual ‘authorities’. When you say things like “I was told”- never mind what you are told, what is true for you? what is true in your own experience? We have to be very careful I think because people all have their own interpretation of things. What you think they might mean might not be what they actually mean anyway, so why waste time thinking about it. I’ve noticed so many people who allow themselves to be drawn in by people who have ‘the answers’ when the fact is that the answers are inside YOU. If you get to the bottom of what most of the great spiritual masters that have walked the earth teach you will see they all say the same thing – that the kingdom of God is within, that your treasure is inside you, go within, seek it there. The more you look to external figures to decide on things in your own life you are simply giving away all your power. Your feelings are a good indicator of truth. How does it feel to be believing in all this stuff you are being told? I bet it’s causing you self-doubt, worry, feelings of inadequacy and a dependence on them for answers/guidance? Cut it off!

You also have a misconception that many people have and I myself used to have – that being good leads to being walked on. No, being artificially nice/accommodating leads to being walked on. True goodness/kindness is highly misunderstood – that actually takes great strength and integrity. It comes from recognising that there is a need for kindness, and that might not always mean being nice per se, sometimes kindness can involve being very direct and assertive. You see it has to come from the right place inside you. If you are being ‘nice’ to avoid confrontation or if your being nice stops you from getting your own needs met then that is not being nice, that is being a victim. I have learned that what is truly right for me is right for the whole and what is wrong for me is wrong for the whole. If you are brave enough to walk your own path you will see this too. So please stop giving your power away to other people, unplug yourself from them. This may take some time, there’s no rush, but if you don’t you will continually be drained of your own energy and power and surely live a life filled with uncertainty and anxiety. That energy and power can be better directed to looking inside your own self for your own truth. This is what the Buddha did, this is what Jesus did…

By the way, thanks, this has helped me clarify things for myself too.

All the best,

Ben.

• This reply was modified 9 years, 7 months ago by AikiBen.