Hi Helen,

You have nothing to apologize or feel sorry for. Long distance relationships are hard! They just are! He’s in Africa, you’re in the Middle East, you meet in London, the Skyping, the length of time of the relationship itself, not seeing each other in the flesh… Stop apologizing to C and stop saying you were wrong. That will just indulge his victim-hood and make him pouty.

Frankly, I would have stuck with A too. Maybe say, “Hey, just so you know, my ex/undefined relationship/old friend is here, how do you feel about that?” But if he’s jealous, I can see why you didn’t tell him.

This is what I would do: Every month and a half, invite C to a get-together, talk to him, have lunch, give him a little something. But that’s it! 45 days seems to be a magic timetable. You are expressing interest in a non-stalkery, non-threatening way. Putting feelers our but at the same time giving him some space.

Try it and see what happens!

Good Luck,

Inky

• This reply was modified 9 years, 7 months ago by Inky.