Thank you to one and all for replying. Its so kind of you all to reply. It helps me tremendously especially when my mind can’t think straight.

I read your replies again and again. I feel better now but still there are moments which make me feel worse. Sometimes I am afraid to be alone because then my mind keeps thinking and overthinking. It’s like I constantly feel the need to justify myself about what happened. I have started reading novels/books and I’m trying to spend more time with friends and family so that my mind is occupied but I want to reach at that point when I’m at peace with myself and her existence and all this fuss no longer matters!