There’s three hours between your posts, and a world of difference. Of course you’re confused. But I really think you are going to be OK.

Reading your first post it strikes me how clearly you see the situation and identify what went wrong. This is what happened, read this again:

When the relationship started, I would try to talk things out and express my anger like a normal person but his arguing style was so weird. He got really defensive most of the time, he’d get up and storm out in the middle of conversations, he’d lie, deny, blame, use his PTSD as an excuse and scapegoat for his actions. And I just went along with it and adapted! I didn’t even think of myself or what was good for me. I just went with it!

You adapted to somebody with a non-functional way of relating. You discounted your heart and your own needs. You turned into someone else. But your heart knew something wasn’t right, and it rebelled. Of course it did. No wonder you had an “attitude”. You were unhappy about certain things and he’d left you no other way to express it. And then he blamed you for it and told you to be “nicer”.

Please don’t wish you’d bent over backwards for this dude. It wouldn’t have made him better. It wouldn’t have made you happy, or him. If some other girl wants to be his stepford wife, let her have it. You are destined for better things.

The way you talk about this suggests to me that you have the emotional intelligence and maturity to have a healthy relationship. I agree it’s probably not a good idea to jump straight into the next thing, though. Take a little time to get to know yourself as a single person, let the lessons from this relationship and breakup take their place in your bones. And if someone comes along that seems suitable, now you know what to look for: how does he argue? How does he deal with setbacks and unpleasant feelings? How does he cope when you have a grumpy mood (we all do sometimes)?

Believe you’re going to be ok. It’s obviously true.

All good things to you.