Hi Lesley,
Reading your story is very similar to looking at my own!,, I’m 33 a lot of failed relationships and met a guy that I thought was very honest and just loved spending time with him. I thought he felt the same!, since we met we spent every weekend together and most days during the week. We lived about an hour apart and for the last month he partly moved in with me when his lease was up. He seemed though when looking at his oast to jump from relationship to relationship .. And did seem to be someone who falls easily .. However not for me it seems! I found out mid March that he had been cheating on me for a month! He hadn’t slept with the girl but had met her out kissed her and messaged and met her twice over the month. And looking at the messages if she had been more opened to it Id say there would have been more!
I kicked him out and was devastated ,,, wanted answers and so let a few weeks of long emails back and forth. He said the passion was gone In our relationship due to my constant dragging up off his past and over thinking, which I am aware I do! But nothing drives someone to cheat! He should have walked away. Anyhow I eventually tried to give it another go.. Lasted a couple off weeks it destroyed me, I needed a break,,, told him this and he agreed,,, while on our break after two days he met a girl who he seems to have fallen for! Told me our relationship was too damaged and he didn’t and wouldn’t love me! It was soul destroying to hear, after five weeks off him promising the sun moon and stars to turn around and do this.
So same as you Im worried I’ll never trust again. It’s still relatively raw… Has only been a few weeks ,, but I compare everything to him. I saw my future with this guy.. And now I’m just broken over it. I keep wondering what iff… I feel I wasnt myself with my insecurities and I did drive him away… But then I think off him texting another girl for a full month..while lying beside me every night. I just wish so much that none of it ever happened, but it hurts me so much that he can just move on so easily!
Just wanted to share! This website has been amazing for me… And has helped so much.
Chin up Lesley…. At the end off the day everybody deserves someone who is mad about them and would do anything to be with that person! Hopefully some day we’ll both find it!