Dear Aasa:
I read your post with interest (what is a “cv”?)

You wrote that you suffered bouts of depression since you were in your late teens. Can you share what was your depression about then? Are you aware of being depressed or excessively sad or anxious earlier in your life, as a child? To give you my advice I would need this kind of additional information.

Regarding anti depressants- I finally got off mine, a year and a half ago after 17 years or so of being on such and anti anxiety (klonipin)- it was hell getting off them. At first I thought and believed the Zoloft (SSRI) helped but later and retroactively I realize that it did not cause any improvement in my functioning. My self destructive behavior continued and I finally became so destructive even though I was taking so much Zoloft (400 and then 300 mg per day!) It is only through CBT/ Mindfulness/ Dialectical therapy that my situation improved, through conscious awareness, insight, integration (ongoing) of past trauma, through learning skills and the practice of using them that my situation improved.

I will be glad to read more from you (question above) and would like to read more about your input about your experience with medication.

Take care:
anita