well i mean yeah, its less about “here is the formula i need written in x book” and more about me just trying to utilize tools available to see if maybe something sticks with me.

anita – i do not know how to look inside myself… how do i find what i need within?
i don’t have health insurance, can’t afford health insurance, and can’t afford a therapist out of pocket… definitely would benefit from one though.

i truly appreciate your thorough answers, both of you

i know if i were able to find the reasons for these feelings, i could tackle these reasons and probably feel okay. but it feels so deep and so hidden and i’m having a hard time accessing this side of myself, it almost feels potentially like a past life issue or something, very out of reach for me which is weird because i am generally so open with my own emotions all of the time