Dear oaoo,

short on time, so I need to be brief. Here’s my opinion:

We all need love. Trying to get rid of a feeling is the best way to ensure that it is there to stay. So I think you need to accpet that you are feeling the way you do, and not try to tell yourself: “I SHOULD be happy. I SHOULD be OK on my own.” It’s a bit tricky, but an important part of loving yourself is to be compassionate about being not ok! If you had a child that said: “I need love, I feel lonely…” would you keep telling him: “But youve got everything, you should be happy!” NO! You would say “I can understand you, I’ll be there for you, it’s ok to feel lonely sometimes…”

I used to think I’m very strong and I’m ok on my own. However at the same time I kind of tried to shut away that vulnerable part of me that needed love. I looked down on it as a victim I did not want to be… And that is the mistake. It is that very part of you that needs understanding and self-compassion.

So my advice would be:
Try to accept that you feel lonely, disappointed or in need of a relationship and be kind with that part of you!
By all means do yoga and meditate and stuff, but don’t do this to get RID of a part of you that needs understanding!
It’s ok to be vulnerable, it’s ok to be sad, it’s ok to be disappointed when relationships fail or guys are not interested.

If you stop shutting up or judging that “needy” part of you, you might even discover WHY this part craves so much attention/love by guys, and why it falls for someone all the time. Treat it like you would treat a friend! It tries to tell you something, and only when you stop judging it for its “weakness” or for sabotaging you, you can start to listen and really understand…