Dear undercity:
Regarding your first paragraph: I too have very few memories of my childhood and i used to be very confused by it. i thought that i couldn’t KNOW if i was abused or not because i did not remember. Through mindfulness I finally realized that I can trust my feelings and thoughts- my automatic feelings and thoughts that are activated so often throughout the day, every day- as EVIDENCE of what childhood I had. I realized nobody chooses- unconsciously choosing SHAME. Shame is inflicted not chosen by the shamed one. I realized that my child part (inner child, id, in Freudan terms) can be trusted to tell me through those automatic cognitions what REALLY happened. Details are not so important, the how i was shamed. the fact is – I was.

I too was a very daydreamy child- a way to remove myself from the scary environment i was in, shaming mother. In my daydreams I was a dancer and thousands of people in the audience were in standing ovation, cheering my performance. In reality I was shamed and put down.

Your second paragraph:actually I have to go for a walk and may not be able to return to the computer until tomorrow. When I am back I will go back to your post and I would like it if you respond to my wrting here so far.

More insight to you!
anita