OK this is my second link to a Noah Elkrief video today but check out this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWEyWrx6p6M
My own advice would be to examine and possibly replace your beliefs around love, rejection etc. Now that’s something that takes time, and the way you do that is something to discover as you go along but if you really want to change this then I’m sure you’ll find ways of making it happen. “Love, freedom, aloneness” is a book by Osho that might be a good read for you to start off with – but it’s not just about reading, it’s also about trying on new ideas and seeing how they work as places to come from in your own mind.
As for the “think about the present” stuff, saying “think about the present” is unlikely to change anything. However, if you consider having a go at an eight week meditation course, and there’s a great book called “Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World” by Mark Williams and Danny Penman, you could possibly learn something that will actually make a difference in the long run.
PS my own inclination would be to disregard suggestions that focus on going back into your past and analyzing problems that way; the fact is, you are NOT a victim to your past.
A quote from Dusan Djukich: “It will only delay your progress to wallow in past theories, stories, and beliefs. You want to replace all that mental spinning with pure action…Dwelling on past mistakes, injustices, or regrets is a useless indulgence. The past simply doesn’t exist. You re-create it only by choosing to think about it in the present moment with freshly chosen images and feelings. The past is only real when you think about it. Otherwise, it’s over. In a recent session, a client said, “But isn’t my past behavior the most reliable predictor of future performance?” Absolutely not! Your past behavior is nothing more than an irrelevant story that you choose to tell and re-tell. The best predictor of future performance is the position that you are coming from right now. And that is yours to freely choose.”
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 